Emma Stone Dance Dare [video]
i am actually painfully in love with emma stone
(Source: mellaark)
Roaming the streets and alleys of The French Quarter. I absolutely loved going to New Orleans with James and after I develop my film, I’ll post more!
“Schizophrenia”
What do you do when you see that your aunt has every symptom of having schizophrenia, but is unwilling to do anything about it?
And she alone caused my grandma to pass away, and although my grandpa is still barely alive, he’s in fear for his life because of her?
My aunt for the past several years has been slowly losing her mind. In the most literal sense. She started off lying and creating these false realities who we, as a family, shrugged it off for so many years and chalked it up to her being a hypochondriac.
Stop lying to yourself. Nobody is hurting you. And no, you are not sick. All the doctors you have seen have said that you’re fine and that you’re just imagining that you are.
But how did something imaginary become so real to her? It’s so hard for me to understand and it angers me so fucking much that she’s doing this to our family. But I know that she can’t control it. Not anymore. I understand and I don’t understand. She was a computer engineer. One of the few that finished her bachelor’s degree and had a wonderful job.
But once she had her son, things just fell apart in every aspect of her and my grandparent’s life.
Wednesday night my cousin, Amanda, and I slept over at my grandpa’s (my aunt lives with them) after the funeral and that night was scariest night of my life. There’s something about the unpredictability of a mental family member that just.. does it for me. I barely got two hours of sleep because every fifteen to thirty minutes my aunt, who was under her blanket, would talk and laugh with someone that wasn’t there. And it wasn’t just a little giggle or a chuckle. It was the spine-tingling hysterical laughter that if you heard, fear would just overcome you. She would rustle around under that blanket as if she was having a sleepover with a best friend. But nobody was there. She would then get up every few hours, run to the bathroom and turn on the water, the lights, and the vent, and just laugh and converse with this… this imaginary figure. Is this person in her mind? Is it a spirit? Then she would leave the bathroom and move to the kitchen and open all the cabinets and scream and holler and just.. laugh some more.
Shhh. We have to be quiet because grandpa would hear us.
These events happened repeatedly until she fell asleep at about 6 AM. This happens every single night. And my grandpa has to have someone sleep with him now because he’s so scared of her. His own daughter.
Her current doctor has prescribed her some medication for the hallucinations and some depressants. But she has hid them and refused to take them.
I’m fine, you guys. I’m no longer alone and sad. I have someone now. And she will always be here for me.
What do you do in this situation? I’m angry and sad and I hate her for being like this. I know I shouldn’t feel such hatred, but I hate her with every fiber of my being. All she has done for us was create fear and anxiety and uncertainty.
All I can say is Rest in Peace Grandma. I love you and I’m sorry that it had to be this way.
“I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.”
— Jonathan Safran Foer
(Source: ethaney)
I can barely keep in my excitement but… I just received the email saying that I got the Microbiology Lab Tech position!!!! 
(Source: thesartorialist.com)
“You do not need to change other people; you can change your reaction to them. When you choose to feel good you are not dependent on other people acting in certain ways to make you feel good. Before you can attract people who will support, appreciate, and acknowledge you, you must choose to do that for yourself.”
— Orin
(Source: nirvikalpa, via yunzi)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Devendra Banhart : Carmensita
Despite the fact that this whole song is in Spanish and I can’t understand any of it, I can’t stop playing it.
Got myself new leather tights, some shirts, and a satchel purse thing today. And I just came back from dinner with my family at my neighbor’s new.. country food restaurant all the way in Anna, TX. All I know now is that I ate way. Too. Much. But he did let me go back into the kitchen to see all the food get prepared and sometimes I don’t understand why I don’t just drop trying to be a Veterinarian and just be a chef.
“The conversations had a nightmare flatness, talking dice spilled in the tube metal chairs, human aggregates disintegrating in cosmic inanity, random events in a dying universe where everything is exactly what it appears to be, and no other relation than juxtaposition is possible.”
— Junky by William S. Burroughs
